Tuesday, 5 March 2013

Is Your Glass Half Full or Half Empty?

I just like this... see if you can stick with it to the end!

Is your glass half full or half empty?

  • The optimist says the glass is half full.
  • The pessimist says the glass is half empty.
  • The project manager says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
  • The realist says the glass contains half the required amount of liquid for it to overflow.
  • And the cynic... wonders who drank the other half.
  • The school teacher says it's not about whether the glass is half empty or half full, it's whether there is something in the glass at all.
  • The ground-down mother of a persistently demanding five-year-old says sweetheart it's whatever you want it to be, just please let mummy have five minutes peace and quiet.
  • The worrier frets that the remaining half will evaporate by next morning.
  • The entrepreneur sees the glass as undervalued by half its potential.  
  • The first engineer says the glass is over-designed for the quantity of water.
  • The logician says that where the glass is in process of being filled then it is half full; where it is in the process of being emptied then it is half empty; and where its status in terms of being filled or emptied is unknown then the glass is one in which a boundary between liquid and gas lies exactly midway between the inside bottom and the upper rim, assuming that the glass has parallel sides and rests on a level surface, and where it does not then the liquid/gas boundary lies exactly midway between the upper and lower equal halves of the available total volume of said glass.
  • The scientist says a guess based on a visual cue is inaccurate, so mark the glass at the bottom of the meniscus of the content, pour the content into a bigger glass; fill the empty glass with fresh content up to the mark; add the original content back in; if the combined content overflows the lip, the glass was more than half full; if it doesn't reach the top, the glass was more than half empty; if it neither overflows nor fails to reach the top then it was either half-full or half-empty. Now what was the question again?
  • The grammarian says that while the terms half-full and half-empty are colloquially acceptable the glass can technically be neither since both full and empty are absolute states and therefore are incapable of being halved or modified in any way.
  • The waiter will hurry to replace the glass with a full one. For him there are no doubts: the glass was empty when he took it away; it is full in the bill that he brings you.
  • The magician will show you the glass with the full half at the top.
  • The physician says that the glass is not empty at all - it is half-filled with water and half-filled with air - hence, fully filled on the whole.
  • The adolescent student says the glass is just another dirty trick played by the teacher to prove that students are dumb.
  • The research scientist says that following initial observation and testing a working hypothesis for further research is: "The glass is both half full and half empty," and that these findings warrant further investigation with a more representative sample of glasses and contents, which may or may not be liquid.
  • The algebraic simultaneous equation theorist says that if the glass is equally half full and half empty, then half full = half empty; therefore ½ x F = ½ x E; therefore (by multiplying both sides of the equation by 2) we show that F = E; i.e. Full equals Empty!
  • The efficiency analyst says the glass is operating substantially below optimization level, being consistently exactly 50% under-utilized during the period of assessment, corresponding to an over-resourcing in meeting demand equating to precisely 200% of requisite capacity in volume terms, not accounting for seasonal trends and shrinkage, and that if the situation continues there is in theory opportunity for savings or expansion.
  • The Taoist sees that the glass is both half empty and half full, that neither half could exist without the other, requiring a point of balance in order to maintain equilibrium in the universe, and therefore, are merely two mirror images of the same realistic concept, so in the purity of absolute truth the glass is neither half full or half empty, the glass simply IS...
  • The optimist says: "The glass is half-full." The pessimist says: "The glass is half-empty". And while they are arguing, the pragmatist takes the glass and drinks it.
  • The police officer says: "I'll ask the questions."
  • Eeyore says (to Winnie-the-Pooh), "Well, at least you have a glass.."
  • The actor says, "Whatever the director wants it to be - or not to be..."
  • The politician says that under the last government the glass was half-empty, and becoming emptier, but thanks to his own party's new leadership, the glass is definitely now half-full, and becoming fuller; but if the other party were to return to power, the glass would once again undoubtedly empty rapidly.
  • The economist says let market forces decide.
  • The nihilist breaks the glass.
  • The Keynesian argues that the glass is half-empty, and that government needs to intervene to fill it up.
  • The monetarist, on the other hand, believes that the glass will naturally tend to being full, and that to interfere with it would result in an inefficient use of the contents, with some quite possibly being spilled and wasted.

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1 comment:

  1. LOL, that's too much to read for me, but I did like Eeyore's viewpoint! Just wanted to stop by and say thanks for visiting my blog! waving hi from the hills of North Carolina ♥

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